Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
May 18th, 2012
* Shawn has been back from the European tour that he was scheduled to appear at and exhausted. The scene opens up with Shawn Winters exhausted laying down on his couch. He has the tv remote on the floor. Random junk food scattered everywhere. His daughter Valarie on his chest sleeping. It's the middle of the afternoon as the front door opens and Brooke walks in without caution. *
Brooke I'm home! Just came to eat before packing and heading out with Keri for the week at her parents cabin.
* Shawn grunts before sitting up a bit and rubbing his eyes. As he moves Valarie starts to cry. *
Shawn God damn it! See what you did?
* Shawn tries to calm her down by tickling her or with her pacifier but to no avail. Brooke walks over and grabs her and holds her in her arms and begins to bop up and down slowly with her before she falls back asleep. Brooke looks over to the crib in the living room and slowly places her in it. Shadow moves forward sniffing the area only for Brooke to shove her nose out of the way which leads Shadow to go back into the kitchen. Shawn gets to his feet and rubs his eyes before pushing his hair from his eyes. *
Shawn I swear to God, for the life of me I'm not thinking that I'm getting this.
Brooke Just takes time Shawn. I mean hell...do you think Dad ever did that with you or I?
Shawn You maybe. He at least wanted you, or least did a better job pretending he did. I was the one who ruined his life not you or Marcus. He was too busy hating me to hate either of you haha.
Brooke Oh whatever!
Brooke Listen, you're already on the right path Shawn trust me. Sure...this whole thing isn't ideal but really? What parents are even married these days? Doesn't mean that she can't be brought up in a loving home.
Shawn Ugh you sound like a greeting card.
Brooke If it came from Marissa you wouldn't say that.
* Brooke starts to laugh but the fact is she's right. Shawn always tries to act tough around his sister however whenever he's into a girl he relies on impressing her. Whatever it is it might be he does what he can to make himself feel important to her. *
Shawn If it came from Marissa she wouldn't be able to speak from my dick in her mouth.
* Not even true, we haven't even had sex yet, let alone that. Hell high school kids have moved at a faster pace than Shawn and Marissa. *
Brooke Whatever you say Shawn. Either way...you're doing a good job...honestly.
* Shawn musters a bit of a smile. *
Shawn Thank you.
It's nice to actually be told that once in a while. For being as insecure as I am about this whole thing it's good to know that you're not screwing everything up. Support isn't something I've really had in my life growing up. It's good to have it now. Wherever it may come from. With everything else in my life falling apart the thought of doing this right seems to make it worth it.
* Brooke walks out of the room as Shawn walks over to the crib and looks at Valarie as she sleeps. Shawn gets a little smile on his face. *
Shawn I know that your vocabulary is limited to various pitches of crying right now but...I want you to know that despite how much I hate your mother...you will always be loved. Most likely more by me than her. She never wanted you. She wanted to get an abortion the moment she was pregnant but I wanted you too much. You know what I'm talking about right?
* Shawn gently gives Valarie a high five. *
Shawn Whenever you actually start remembering things as a kid I hope this is one that you remember forever. I love you more.
* Shawn backs away from the crib as he scratches Shadow on the head as she stands near the crib. *
Shawn Protect her okay?
* Shawn tells Shadow as Shadow lets out a bark before laying down next to the crib. Brooke comes back over to Shawn with a bowl of cereal in hand. *
Brooke You trained a Dog...daughters I hear are a lot easier.
Shawn I hate you.
Brooke Meh I'll get over it haha.
* Brooke and Shawn walk into the kitchen where Brooke takes a seat at the kitchen table eating her cereal. Shawn grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge and takes a seat joining her at the kitchen table. *
Shawn You know what I think about every time I go to sleep at night?
* Brooke speaks with a mouth full of Cheerios. *
Brooke What's that?
* Shawn What it would be like raising her alone. I mean here I am trying to do this. But deep down I know that it's not all on me. I can make mistakes as long as they're not fatal. But...if it was just me? I...I don't think I could handle that much pressure. The only life I've ever been able to handle has been my own and that has even been in question the last few years. *
Brooke What are you saying?
Shawn Saying that Hannah being the mother that she is...is one of the best things to happen to Valarie. She does so much for her, even having the family that Hannah has...they're there for her. That's more than I can ever provide. I don't have that family setting like Hannah does. All I have is you...and well Marissa for however long she stays around. I don't exactly have the greatest track record there.
Brooke This gives you the chance to be the cool parent Shawn. You know...when she's 14 you're the parent that gives her alcohol. You're the parent that lets her stay out as late as she wants. You're the parent that lets her go to prom Freshman year.
Shawn Whoa! She's not even one and you're already listing ways that she will lose her virginity! Not cool!
Brooke Ok scratch that you'll be the over protective parent....those are always fun.
* Brooke rolls her eyes a bit before taking another scoop of her cereal. *
Shawn My goal? Is to be an actual parent. You know...the thing that we never had?
Brooke The thing that you never had. I had parents. I just didn't piss Dad off every single chance I had.
Shawn You know what! You say shit to just get under my skin.
Brooke Duh...not like I didn't learn it from you.
Ugh! I swear sometimes talking to Brooke is like talking to myself in a mirror. Except this mirror tells me shit I don't wanna hear.
Shawn If I have anything to say about it the least I can do is be a better father to Valarie that ours was to me.
Brooke Setting a pretty low bar there Shawn.
Shawn Really? You want to do this right now?
Shawn Alright fine! Joseph wasn't shit to me and you know it! Whatever the hell it was, it was my fault. His drinking problem. His own infidelity it was all my fault simply because of the fact that he didn't want me. Want me to go further?!
* Brooke smiles with a soon followed scoop of cereal. *
Shawn It didn't matter what I did. Being a kid randomly breaking a window with a baseball it resulted in him cheating on Mom. It was all my fault. You have any idea what that is like growing up with? Any idea what it's like looking him in the eyes at our mom's funeral that you BEGGED me to go to...and simply see that you've made the same mistakes?!
* Brooke stops mid scoop of her cereal. *
Shawn Is that what you wanted to hear? For all of my life I have done things in spite of our father...only to look him in the eyes last year and simply see myself. He couldn't raise a child...what chance do I have?
* Brooke places her spoon back into the bowl. Shawn seems to have taken a deep breath as if he's been storing that up for a while. Brooke sighs before looking up. *
Brooke Shawn...you're not our dad.
Shawn Oh really? Last I checked I've cheated on my wife...wives just like he did. I've had a child that I wanted nothing to do with. Just like him...sad thing is he had to see me every damn day. Me? I guess Alex was lucky enough to not see me every day.
Brooke Shawn...just because you think that you're following Dad doesn't mean that it's the path you have to follow. You've had your chances to change your path except you've simply been too scared to take it because you've damn near excepted your own fate.
* Shawn sits quietly after Brooke's words. He sighs deeply. *
Shawn I don't have anyone to tell me if what I'm doing is right.
* Shawn lowers his head. *
Shawn I don't have someone to call in the middle of the night to ask what they did when I was a baby.
* Shawn shakes his head slowly as if reaching a form of clarity. *
Shawn I don't have any frame of reference! Our Mom? She's gone. Only person who I ever felt like loved me. Who do I have? Dad? No. You? You're a child. Like it or not you don't know all the answers. Only people I could even ask would be Hannah's family. They were the only ones to actually accept me as one of their own.
* Shawn sighs as Brooke takes a small scoop of cereal. Shawn shakes his head a bit. *
Shawn I tried...so hard I tried. To be the father that I dreamed that I had. I actually found the person that meant something to me that having a child lead me to come back. But nobody understands...nobody will. It wont matter how many things I do right the only things that will matter will be the things that I've done wrong.
Brooke Shawn...if you constantly think like that then you're destined for failure.
Shawn You're right...because you happened to be born after me and Marcus. You happened to be born after Dad reformed himself. It's funny...even as a kid you can't forget how easy some had it.
Brooke Ok, that's not fair!
Shawn Fair? Nobody was talking about fair. Fact is Brooke...some of us were brought up with a purpose. Marcus to be a Doctor like Dad. You to go to college and be what you wanted to be. Me? No. I had one option to be a Doctor like Dad. Despite my childhood of being insignificant I was still destined to follow in Dad's footsteps.
Brooke Shawn...I'm lost.
Shawn It was only relevant that I rebelled.
* Shawn rubs his chin as he torques his neck a little bit. *
Shawn How could I bother follow in the footsteps of a man that I hated? He wanted me to be one thing I constantly did the opposite just to get back at him for the awful childhood that I had. I go around and I pretend like I have everything together and I try and act like I'm strong but how can I be strong with something that I know so little about? People like you and Marissa keep telling me that me trying should be enough for me right now but damn it, I've rebelled against our father so much that I turned into him. Whose to say that it's stopped now?
Brooke Jesus Shawn...you're not even drunk and you're reaching some sort of emotional clarity. The truth is, nobody has those answers. You're constantly asking questions that nobody but Valarie can answer. You want to know if you're a good dad? Well you're going to have to be patient until she grows up and is able to tell you herself. Right now? All you can do is try your best and eventually you'll have that day where she drives off to college and thanks you and tells you that she loves you and you'll look back on all this thinking that it's the greatest time in your life. Hell you'll laugh because the decisions you make today won't even compare to the decisions you'll make when she gets older.
* Shawn is silent. *
Brooke Come on Shawn...I mean look at everything you've done for her. You've got all this stuff.
* She points to a baby bag. *
Brooke Everything she needs is right in there? How simpler can it get? Look at all that stuff. You've got baby powder. Certain types of diapers. You've got some cd's of kids music. Come on, don't short change yourself.
Shawn That's all stuff that Hannah brought.
Brooke Ok...well what about that crib? Come on, that's one hell of a crib. I could sleep in that thing.
Shawn Hannah picked it out.
Brooke Alright...well at least you know what to feed her now. I mean I saw you had some bottles of milk in your fridge.
Shawn Breast milk.
Brooke Which...is obviously Hannah's.
Everything that I've learned and or know about Valarie has been because of Hannah.
Brooke Hey...you have a dog. Does Hannah have a dog?
Thanks a lot Brooke.
* Shawn sits and reflects on what Brooke has said. He then stands up and takes his bottle of water before walking towards the sliding glass doors which leads to his patio and pool. He looks back at Brooke who takes another bite of her cereal. *
Shawn Well, you're right about one thing. I need to stop asking everyone else for answers.
* Shawn opens the glass door and walks outside and towards his bar that he has outside. He walks behind it and begins to make himself a drink. He starts to pour some vodka in a glass before stopping. He looks at it and then decides to pour some more in. He then adds a splash of orange juice before relaxing on an outside recliner as he looks at his pool. He takes a drink of his screwdriver which is followed by a bitter face as it's very strong. He sets it down on cement before he pulls out his phone. *
Shawn Or...maybe I'm just not asking the right people.
* Shawn scrolls over his first ex-wife Angie. However after the whole blow up with Alex earlier this year there is no way that she will talk to him. He scrolls down to Holly who had a child of her own. However she won't talk to him either. A pattern is starting to progress here. Shawn has managed to burn every bridge that he has ever had only to build new ones in order to burn down. Fact is he doesn't have anyone left to ask for help here. *
I know that Brooke speaks the truth. I can't ask people how to be a father. Being a father is something that you've got to do yourself. Nobody can teach you how to be the perfect dad because there is no such thing. Dr. Phil couldn't even help me right now because to help me is to know me...to know me.
* Shawn scrolls down more in his phone before clicking call. He holds his phone to his ear as a few rings can be heard followed by an answer: Hello?...Hello?...Who is this? Shawn slowly pulls his phone away from his ear before clicking end call. Shawn stares at his screen which simply reads: Dad under recent call. He places his phone on the cement before grabbing his glass and taking another drink. He sighs as the alcohol begins to calm his nerves. *
Shawn Thank God I have Hannah.
It's no secret that I am afraid. Fact is what I am afraid of isn't being a father. My biggest fear has always been that of being alone. It's followed me to this day. My marriages, my pregnancies, my constant leap from relationship to relationship to whoever is available at the time, hell even my own sister Brooke living with me. Is it possible that Valarie will be my solution to this problem long term? Maybe that's why I came back. Not for Hannah but for this constant fear of being alone. It's a fear that I have lived with growing up with the feeling of having nobody. Fact is being alone with only my own thoughts and my own past just eating away at my subconscious trying to tell me of what could have been and what I could of done differently. I wish no such torture on a man. Maybe if I start treating Valarie as a solution apposed to a problem I may find solace.
Fear is the parent of cruelty.
James Anthony Froude
* The camera flickers on showing Shawn Winters in front of an SCW Taking Hold of the Flame backdrop as he has a thick amount of chew stored in his lower lip and an empty beer bottle in hand. He smirks into the camera with that famous egotistical grin before he begins to speak. *
Shawn Oh how fast time travels. Not long ago it seems the world witnessed the idea of destiny and fate collide. The world witnessed a true psychic vision, a true prophet as everyone who saw Taking Hold of the Flame last year saw the One Man Scandal do what he promised he would do and that's win the battle royal and go on to face Shilo Valiant and win the SCW World Championship. I mean that right there was an impressive feat. No, not being Shilo Valiant. I'm referring to the ability to predict the future. So being a man that can see past time and space many of you I'm sure have questions for me but alas I will not spoil your lives with details, I will simply spoil your lives with my performances inside that ring and on a microphone.
So, with that all said what does the future hold for Shawn Winters in 2012? What does the future hold for me at Taking Hold of the Flame? Well one thing is for certain, that I'm going to steal the show considering whose Champion at this present moment. Another thing that can be told without my psychic powers is that this year will once again feature 40 participants just like last year. Now...the tricky part. What is it that I predict will happen at Taking Hold of the Flame? What will the outcome ultimately be? Well with the universe weighing down upon me the way it is, the spirits of the other dimension are simply telling me that I have something to prove. You see last year at this event people questioned my resolve when I needed Ace Marshall's help in order to win. However that is simply in the eye of the beholder. You see I didn't need Ace's help in winning I simply took advantage of it because it was a luxury that I had that nobody else did. If you own a Porsche you don't keep it in the garage, you go out and drive it.
See when you're in the ring with 39 other men and women all vying for a chance to headline Rise to Greatness you need to out think them. You need to out wrestle them. You need to simply do everything you can do within your power to make sure that it's you and nobody else left standing. See my psychic vision was simply that of confidence. A confidence that no other person has ever managed to hold a candle to that of my own. You want to talk about a flame talk about the fire that burns deep inside this man to show that he's the ultimate best. I did that last year because I needed to win the battle royal. I needed to go on and win the title at Rise to Greatness after the debacle that feel in my lap two years prior when I lost the belt to James Exeter. I went out there with a chip on my shoulder and something to prove. This year? This year I have nothing to prove. I have proven myself to be the best and I have proven myself to be the greatest Rise to Greatness competitor this company has ever seen which is why that single event is my home. A place in which I feel relaxed, a place in which I can kick my feet up and let my own talent coast me to putting on a show that only other men possibly dream of.
* Shawn spits into his beer bottle before wiping his lip with his wrist. *
Shawn Everyone elses dreams and admirations are my reality. Everyone dreams and wishes to win Taking Hold of the Flame and to headline Rise to Greatness. Well that's my reality, I headline every Rise to Greatness that I'm apart of. My name is constantly in the bright lights of Rise to Greatness lore. After last year the same can be said about Taking Hold of the Flame. Last year I showcased to the world what true talent was actually like. I showcased my abilities against 39 other superstars and I came out on top as promised. So that leaves the question. If I have nothing to prove this year and I have already won this event before, why enter it again? Well the answer is quite simple. Everyone else in this match has a certain agenda to become the SCW Champion and to headline Rise to Greatness. Well in defense of sounding self obsessed but I've done that enough times for it to no longer...satisfy me.
I have gone on record as saying that what I have prepared this year will be that of biblical proportions and if any of you have ever learned anything it's to believe me when I promise something. I promise to make an impact like the One Man Scandal can only provide. See...last year I won Taking Hold of the Flame because I needed too. This year? Well this year is an entirely different story.
* Shawn spits into his empty beet bottle again before releasing that trademark grin. *
Shawn You see when you've done everything that I have done in this company you begin to run out of new ways to challenge yourself. You begin to run out of ways to out do yourself. So what I decided to do was enter Taking Hold of the Flame this year to simply do that...out do my performance from last year. This year, there will be no Ace Marshall helping me as he's wrestling in another company. There will be me, myself, and I...and I have the ability to get things done on my own. Whether or not I enter that ring at #1 or #39 I promise to the world that I will put on a performance and put on a show that not even the great CHBK has ever managed to do. I will go out there and not only win the battle royal for a second time...I will win it in back to back years because what's the use of showing off your talents unless the entire world is there to witness it? That's my goal this year...that's my promise. Never before has it been done. Never before has somebody managed to reign supreme in the land of supreme at Taking Hold of the Flame twice.
That's what's left for me ladies and gentleman. The only way to top myself is to do something that nobody else in history has ever managed to do. That is the standard in which I have set and the measuring stick that all else are compared. When my music hits and I walk down that isle entering the battle royal the entire arena will have goosebumps running up there bodies and the wrestlers in that ring will have piss running down their legs because the moment my music hits is the moment that their dreams of headlining Rise to Greatness are shattered. I'm not doing this because I want to, I'm not doing this because I have to, I'm simply doing this because I can.
* Shawn smiles into the camera before winking as he walks off. The camera focuses on the Taking Hold of the Flame backdrop before fading to black. *