March 28, 2009

Lil Wayne Voiceover

“What’s “G”?”
(shows Maria Sharapova)

“It’s the emblem of a warrior”
(shows Brett Favre)

“It’s the Swagger of an Athlete”
(shows Mia Hamm)

“The Champion”
(shows Shawn Winters)

“And the Dynasty”
(shows Michael Jordan)

“It’s Gifted”
(shows Shaun White)

(shows Coach K)

(shows Danica Patrick)

(shows Tiger Woods)

(shows Shawn Johnson)

“And Glorious”
(shows Tim Tebow)

“It’s a Lower Cased God”
(shows Jackie Robinson)

“What’s “G”?”
(shows Pat Summitt)

“It’s the Heart, Hustle, and Soul of the Game”
(shows Blake Griffin)

“That’s “G””

Shawn – What the fuck is this shit?!

* Shawn Winters is seen walking right up to the director of the commercial. *

Director – Shawn, what’s up?

Shawn – This isn’t good, this can’t be the final cut.

Director – Well…what’s wrong with it?

Shawn – Dynasty? Emblem of a Warrior? Glorious? Gutsy? Golden? I mean come on! Every single one of these phrases is a reference to one Shawn Winters! I’m just “Champion”? What the dog shit is that?

Director – Well if I’m not mistaken you are the World Heavyweight Champion so it applies.

Shawn – So does every other damn reference. So I did you a solid by getting the editor to re-vamp this commercial a bit.

* Shawn puts a disc in the player as the commercial starts. *

Lil Wayne Voiceover

“What’s “G”?”
(shows Shawn Winters)

“It’s the emblem of a warrior”
(again Shawn Winters)

“It’s the Swagger of an Athlete”
(still shows Shawn Winters)

“The Champion”
(once again Shawn Winters)

“And the Dynasty”
(still on Shawn Winters)

“It’s Gifted”
(back to Shawn Winters)

(Shawn Winters again)

* The Director stops the commercial. *

Shawn – So, its better isn’t it?

Director – I…I’ll take it into consideration.

Shawn – I’ll accept that as a yes.

* Shawn walks away. *

Director – I knew having him in this commercial would be a mistake.

* Shawn pulls out his phone and clicks a button and then holds it to his ear. He notices the others from the commercial all leaving in there cars. *

Shawn – (on phone) Yeah, the commercial is done….yeah I did a little bit of a rewrite so I’m sure it’ll be great….Of course I’m “G” what kind of question is that?....

* Right then Olympic Gold Medalist Shawn Johnson walks up and kind of does a cute little over excited hop right in front of Shawn Winters planting her feet back to the ground with a huge smile on her face. Shawn gets a confused look on his face and turns around still on the phone. *

Shawn – (on phone) Yeah so go ahead and get the car up here so you can get me out of here….(looks over shoulder at Shawn Johnson)…as soon as possible.

* Shawn hangs up his phone and pretends not to notice the girl behind him. *

Shawn Johnson – Excuse me? Shawn?

* She taps him on the shoulder. Shawn Winters then turns around and sees the girls’ huge smile and kind of a blushing tone to her cheeks. She is holding something in her hand resembling a piece of paper. *

Shawn – I’m not your dad little girl.

* She laughs and shakes her head. *

Shawn Johnson – Oh no, I get that a lot…I was just kind of wondering if I could get your autograph ya know? The Director gave me a giant copy showing all the slides from the commercial and I’ve been getting everyones autograph. This whole “celebrity” thing is kind of new to me ya know? It’s a bit over whelming and I’m a little nervous being around such accomplished athletes and coaches.

* Shawn gets a smirk on his face before taking the sheet from her hands and then the marker/pen that she held. Shawn then notices her gold medal peaking out of her jacket. *

Shawn – What’s that?

* She looks down. *

Shawn Johnson – Oh…

* She pulls her gold medal out and shows it for Shawn to see. *

Shawn Johnson – This is the gold medal that I won in Beijing.

Shawn – Wow, my mind is drawing a blank here but I must have misplaced your name. Care to remind me?

Shawn Johnson – Oh gee, I’m terribly sorry…I must have forgotten to give it…where are my manners? My name is Shawn Johnson.

Shawn – Your name is Shawn? Wow this feels kind of awkward. Hopefully my boys don’t get a hold of this otherwise I’ll be known to have a girls name.

Shawn Johnson – Haha well if it’s any comfort to you I won’t tell anybody.

* She smiles at Shawn as he just looks at her with a puzzling look. He then signs the sheet. *

Shawn – You’re really cute, anyone ever tell you that?

Shawn Johnson – (blushes) A few boys in my school but it never gets old hearing it.

* Shawn smirks and hands her the sheet and the pen/marker. *

Shawn – School? How old are you?

Shawn Johnson – I’m only 17.

* She twists and turns in a shy way. Shawn lets out a look as if he feels like he’s going to be arrested just talking to the girl. *

Shawn – Going on….?

Shawn Johnson – Just turned…sadly.

Shawn – I’m not going to lie girl, I feel kind of awkward even talking to you.

* She playfully pushes Shawn on the shoulder who in turn is surprised at her strength. *

Shawn Johnson – Oh stop it, you’re fine.

Shawn – Wow, you’re strong for such a little girl. It’s like you’re a little smurf on steroids.

* She pushes Shawn again who in turn seems like he wants to push her back but restrains himself. *

Shawn Johnson – You’re so funny.

* She then turns to see a woman yelling for her from inside of a van. Shawn also notices Miranda pulling up behind the van. *

Shawn Johnson – Well I’ve got to go my mom is calling for me, but hey…whenever SCW has a show in Iowa you should get a hold of me. I’d love to come and watch a show, I live in Des Moines.

Shawn – (confused) Yeah, sure we’ll work something out.

* She smiles and waves “good bye” as she runs to her moms van. *

Shawn – Wait a minute…what the hell just happened?! I didn’t just set up a date with a 17 year old girl did I? Holy shit no…I am not turning into Jay Gold…I draw the line at 18, just ask Miranda. Alright…damn it I need a beer…wait I’m gonna need something stronger, I’m gonna need a shot of Allocka.

* Miranda has gotten out of the car and is walking right up to Shawn and punches him in the arm. *

Shawn – What the hell?! Are all teenage girls fucking into violence?!

Miranda – Who the hell was that?!

Shawn – What? Her? That was…

Miranda – Your new whore?! I’m gone to work out and leave you alone for an hour and you’ve already moved on?! What so are you just going to dump then? Move on to the next hot piece of ass?! Am I not young enough for you?! Am I not hot enough for you?! Do I not do enough in bed for you?! Well you know what Shawn, no…No! I’m not going to just stand by and let you do that. Whatever that girl did I can do 10 times better.

* She grabs Shawn by the belt and drags him towards a janitors closet. *

Shawn – What the hell are you doing?!

Miranda – I told you! Whatever that girl did I am going to do 10 times better you just watch. I’m not going to let you drift away from me! How am I supposed to go back to USC and leave you to the road seeing you maybe twice a week when I can’t even leave you alone for one hour?!

Shawn – Miranda….wha-

* Right then she jams her tongue right down Shawn’s throat and pulls him into the closet. Time passes and the closet door opens. Miranda has a tiny mirror in her palm and is fixing her hair and her mouth. Shawn’s belt is still unbuckled and his shirt is clearly ripped. A few claw marks are visible on his chest and possibly a bite mark on his neck. *

Miranda – I’ll be in the car waiting for you baby.

* Miranda gives Shawn a small kiss on his cheek and then walks off back to her car. *

Shawn – That’s it…I’m done…I quite possibly might have to hang up my dick. I have NEVER had a better….I mean just….she did….(sighs) Either she’s perfect or she’s completely insane…but either way I’m pretty sure I’m going to want her around for a while. (smirks)

* Shawn buckles his belt and then tries to fix his shirt but obviously to no avail. *

Shawn – I’m going to have to search far and wide to try and find a better lay then her…and I’m not going to lie…it’s an adventure that I’m looking forward to.

* Shawn walks towards the car and gets in. Something then catches Shawn’s attention. He then looks around the car for something. *

Shawn – Babe…um…question. Where’s the beer? Didn’t I ask you to pick up some beer for me?

Miranda – I’m sorry but I couldn’t get you any beer, I’m only 18 remember?!

Shawn – What happened to that fake that I stole from Ace’s wife?

Miranda – Remember, I got stopped by the police when you and Adam got really drunk at the bar and made me carry the case of beer you bought for after hours and I showed them my fake and they didn’t believe that I was 26 years old?

Shawn – That sounds like something I would do…

* As Miranda is talking Shawn begins to drift off into his own mind. *

Greg Cherry, CHBK, Adam Allocco, Jason Wheeler, and Oleksa Drachewych. That is this elaborate list that fuels Christian Savior. His list of people to infect I suppose. Now supposedly he didn’t care to defeat Brian Kinney because he wasn’t on his “list”. So I suppose he won’t really care to face me then at Retribution since I’m not on his “list”. Ya know when I first heard about this list I was kind of offended that I was excluded from it. I mean I should be on everybody’s list. I’m on so many girl’s list it’s not even funny. Ya know what list I’m talking about, the one where she can sleep with a certain amount of celebrities without her boyfriend getting upset…I wonder if that receptionist from the doctors office has a list. Man she had the nicest rack that I have ever seen. I mean those things practically defied gravity. They just sat there staring at me just begging me to nuzzle my face right in between them…wait what was I talking about again? Oh yeah Christian Savior’s list…well then I thought about it some more and realized how ecstatic that I was that I wasn’t on his list. I mean its bad enough that I’ve got Jason Wheeler riding my coat tail I don’t need his brother doing the same trying to cross me off his “list”. Wow, I can’t even think about this thing without getting disgusting and disturbing thoughts.

Miranda – Babe, we’re here.

* Shawn comes to and notices that they’re back at his hotel. *

Shawn – Damn already?

Miranda – Uh yeah…you didn’t even say a word the entire way here. I was practically talking to myself the entire drive.

Shawn – Well at least you love the sound of your voice so much.

Miranda – I do not.

Shawn – Then why are you always talking?

* Shawn and Miranda get out of the car. They walk into the hotel lobby and Miranda sees a little baby in a stroller with the mom checking in. *

Miranda – Aw…how cute is that little baby?

* Shawn pretends not to hear what she’s saying and continues to walk until she grabs him by his arm. *

Miranda – Shawn look at the cute little baby.

Shawn – He’s ugly, now can we go up to my room now?

Miranda – What!? All babies are adorable.

Shawn – Yeah and then you woke up, now come on.

* Shawn then begins to go into his own mind once again as they enter the elevator. *

Christian what are you going to do when that soon to be baby of yours arrives? You fold under the pressure of the lights on the big stage so I’m curious to know how you’ll manage to fold under the pressure of a child birth. I can just see you now looking on as the baby is crowning and then you pass out and once the whole thing is said and done you wake up asking what happened. I mean I could easily go through and compare that to each and everyone of your matches in SCW since your return but what’s the point? I mean you already get what I’m trying to throw at you right? I mean you’re not THAT retarded are you? Wow, that makes me realize that your kid has absolutely no shot at being normal. Christian I will however do you a favor and refer you to the father of the year in the one Ace Marshall. His fatherly tactics are uncompared.

* The sound of the elevators bell distracts Shawn from his thoughts. He then notices that he and Miranda have reached his floor. They make there way down the hall and stop at a door and enter his suite. Miranda then puts the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the outside. She then starts to unbutton her shirt. She then turns around and notices Shawn I no where. *

Miranda – Uh…babe, where are you?

* She walks through the little hallway arena and sees Shawn searching through the fully stocked fridge. He then pulls out a bottle of vodka and pours himself a glass. *

Miranda – Shawn what the hell?!

Shawn – Hey, you didn’t get any beer so I have to improvise.

* Miranda then nuzzles up close to Shawn and starts to kiss him. He then pushes her away. *

Shawn – Whoa…did you shower after your work out?

Miranda – Um…no…I figured I’d just get sweaty again ya know so I figured we both could shower…like after.

Shawn – No…see I’m not already sweaty so how bout this…you go in and shower and then when you’re finished I promise my pants will be off and I’ll already have like 6 of these guys down. (holds up the glass of vodka) which will ensure that I’ll be able to go on for hours.

Miranda – Oh, well when you put it that way.

* Miranda playfully takes off her top as she looks over her shoulder and goes into the bathroom. Shawn then downs his drink. He then focuses. *

Shawn – Wow…just wow. If I didn’t know any better I would swear that this girl has got some split personalities or something. One second she’ll be the sweetest girl ever and then the next she’ll be the psycho chick from hell. But hey…with the way she’s going now it’ll be like waking up to a different girl every day haha.

* Shawn gets up and fixes himself another drink. He then looks on the counter to see his SCW World Championship belt. He then looks at his black duffle bag which is opened revealing his tights he plans on wearing for his match at Retribution. He then sits back down on the bed and takes a drink of his vodka. *

Shawn – It seems as if you’ve lost yourself Christian, I mean on one side of your brain you feel accomplished being the IWC Champion. Then on the other side of your brain you feel like a failure since your not so glorious return to SCW. In IWC you’re respected, in SCW you’re looked at like a three legged dog. People feel sorry for you because no matter how hard you may try, you’re always just falling short. Your record since your return reflects that. Your only win you have since returning is because you were teamed with your brother against a grandpa and a fruit cake. You’re deeper into your brothers shadow then Alex Jr. could possibly ever be in his fathers. So it seems as though you are at a cross roads in your career. One path leads to competition and the only leads to you being the competition. If you haven’t guessed one path is SCW and the other is IWC. What you have been trying to do is walk between the two paths hoping that you could have both styles of life, have the good and the bad. Well Christian let’s look at this here. One path you’ve got people like Nathan Creed who in all honesty I know nothing about do you know why? Because he’s not worth the toilet paper that he wipes his ass with. The other path you have salvation, you see the light only for it to shove you down into darkness…that light is yours truly Shawn Winters. I’m exactly where you want to be Christian, I’m where you wish that you were…where your brother wishes he still was.

People hold the SCW Championship as this high regard but what’s so special about it? You think just by winning this title it will cement some sort of legacy? It’ll cause you to be remembered for centuries to come? No, I refuse to fall under that stupid cliché, I believe that you make your own legacy. You don’t rely on some inanimate object to decide it for you. Jason Wheeler relies on this Championship far to much and now here you are trying to get it just to show that you’re worth a damn. I’ve never understood this concept. Do you know why I am SCW Champion right now? Do you? It’s not because it was my ultimate goal in life. It isn’t my holy grail that has escaped me for all of these years that you may seem to think it is. I only went after this belt to bring agony to others like Greg Cherry or Jason Wheeler. Because as long as I hold this belt it means that nobody else is. I don’t hold it to prove I’m the best, I’m one who doesn’t need some superficial thing to prove my worth. I don’t need something show me who I am, because I know exactly who I am and what I’m capable of. It makes me sick that people like Greg Cherry and you Christian think so little of yourselves that you need a belt to make yourself feel better about the worthless life that you lead.

* Shawn takes another drink of his vodka. *

Shawn – (sigh) Christian…I look at you and I honestly do feel sorry for you, I mean its bad enough sharing a blood line with the freak of nature Jason Wheeler but to see you as a little fawn trying to stand on its own two feet is just hard to watch. Every time you get close you fall right back to the ground waiting for your brother to hold you up. I suppose if you defeat me at Retribution you’ll finally get that feeling of standing on your own two feet. But if you won how long would that feeling really last Christian? How long would it be before your own brother knocked those newly developed legs right out from under you? You see I’m doing you two a favor. I’m making your family stronger by holding this title. If you held it then Wheeler would just attack you trying to get it back, but for as long as I have it you two are united, you two are one. You can choose to look at it in a different light Christian but the truth is your brain has yet to fully develop along with your legs so you probably don’t even understand what I’m trying to say to you. So Bambi…if you can’t stand on your own two feet using Brian Kinney as a stepping stone when he’s so close to the ground, what makes you think you’ll be able to do so using me? Maybe try somebody like Red Robberson or Eric Anderson? At least then you’ll be able to get your feet under you before trying to step into the ring with the One Man Scandal.

* Right then the bathroom door opens and Miranda walks out seductively wearing only a towel with her slightly damp hair hanging down. He walk is then interrupted by the door flying open and Greaternity’s own Ace Marshall is standing in the doorway. He then closes the door behind him. *

Ace – Shawn I was….I wasn’t interrupting anything was I?

* Miranda then sits right beside Shawn on the bed. *

Miranda – Oh no Ace honey, you’re fine. You know you’re always welcome.

Ace – Awesome…well Shawn I wanted to talk to you about your match with Christian Savior. With us all banned from ringside and the possibility of you losing the SCW Championship and Adam losing his job if we interfere I think that it would be benefit us if we…ya know brain stormed a little bit to see what we could do to keep the upper hand. I mean Jason Wheeler isn’t banned from ringside so it’s only us.

Shawn – Well…maybe it’s time to finally initiate a new pledge to the Greaternity. (smirks)

Ace –That could be a great idea…but I was thinking of maybe some hardcore hazing before the match even takes place. I mean we’re not allowed to interfere in the match itself but Drachewych never said a word about us doing anything before the bell sounds.

Shawn – I like where your heads at Ace…you’re showing some great initiative. That’s what’s going to get you places in this group.

Miranda – Oh come on now! I wanna see my giggle stick!!!

* Miranda is trying to reach around Shawn’s crotch as he notches his head sideways looking at Ace trying to prevent her from reaching it. *

Ace – (smirks) Giggle stick???

Miranda – Yeah because every time I see it I giggle cuz I’m so happy.

Shawn – I always preferred to call it my heat seeking moisture missile.

Miranda – Awww…is somebody getting a little upset?

* Miranda gives a little sad face as Ace shakes his head. *

Ace – Yea know Shawn…I’ll just see you in the morning, I’ll leave Miranda to her giggle stick haha.

* Ace leaves the room as Miranda pulls Shawn’s pants down and then straddles him. *

Miranda – You wouldn’t “really” cheat on me would you?

Shawn – What? Me? No…I’m as faithful as they come.

Wow for being in college and going to an established school like USC she clearly doesn’t do her homework.

Miranda – Good, because if you do…I’ll know about it.

Shawn – Wha-what do you mean?

Miranda – Well you see…my father is the Sheriff around that area…ya know…the Los Angeles area.

Shawn – Oh?

Mother fucker…I’m going to have to move!!!

Miranda – Yeah and since you live in LA and all, well he’s got eyes and ears all over…

Shawn – Well at least I’ll know I’ll be safe from stalkers or robberies right? Ha-ha

At least I’ll have the road pussy to look forward to on my quest.

Miranda – And just so you know…he’s got connections all over the states…so if you ever you know, screw up…I’ll know about it…and he’s also been on probation a few times…

Shawn – What for?

Miranda – He has this anger problem…sometimes he likes to get trigger happy.

* Shawn’s face turns white. She then playfully kisses Shawn on the cheek before reaching her hand down. *

Miranda – So I have nothing to worry about right?

Shawn – Uh-yeah…(gulps) of course.

I’m going to die.

* Scene fades. *