One Man Scandal
* The scene opens up with Ace Marshall and Holly Adams in Ace's suite as Ace is putting on a shirt. *
Ace - I don't know what to do about Shawn. I mean I didn't think it was possible but I think this whole divorce thing is actually bothering him. I mean just the other night he actually told me that he was doing all of this partying to numb the feeling of it all. That's not supposed to be what Greaternity is all about. We're the party hosts, leave no girl unturned!
Holly - What?
Ace - Nothing.
Holly - Well clearly you've got to get him to forget about this...what's her name?
Ace - Hannah.
Holly - Yeah...you've got to find a way to get him to forget about her and I have the perfect idea.
Ace - No!
Holly - You don't even know what I'm going to say!
Ace - I'm not having sex with Shawn! The whole "pumpkin butt" on twitter is about as far as that's gonna go Holly.
Holly - Damn it!
Ace - We've got to figure something out. I mean it's 1 in the afternoon and he still hasn't gotten out of bed yet.
Holly - Well you know what Ace? Be prepared to be jealous because Shawn's about to have a new best friend!
* Holly walks out the door as Ace follows. Holly gets to Shawn's suite and knocks on the door. The door opens from the force of the knock since the door wasn't closed all the way. Holly walks inside with Ace behind her. There are beer bottles and clothes scattered around everywhere. A chair is upside down and a glass coffee table is broken. Holly turns to see a couple girls laying on the floor naked and gets to Shawn who is sprawled out on the bed butt as naked next to a few perscription pill bottles that are knocked over spilling pills everywhere. *
Holly - Wow...it's so great to see the behind the scenes Shawn Winters.
Ace - Ha...this is nothing.
* Ace throws open the curtains letting the sunshine in while Holly leaps up and onto the edge of Shawn's bed getting a muster out of him. *
Shawn - Ugh
Holly - Shawn it's time to get up! Here drink some water.
* Holly grabs a bottle only to smell it. *
Holly - OH MY GOD EW! What is that?!
Ace - My guess? Chew spit.
Holly - Gross!
* Holly puts the bottle back. She then shakes Shawn's leg trying to get him up. *
Shawn - What do you want?
Holly - We're here to get you out of this little funk you're in. We're here to cheer you up.
* Right then one of the girls gets up and walks into the bedroom. *
Holly - Who are you?
Girl - Amy.
Shawn - Bitch what'd I tell you? For the foreseeable future your name is Hannah! Now leave.
Girl - But I can't find my clothes.
Shawn - I threw them out the window when you fucked up my eggs. I mean come on, that's like one night stand 101.
Girl - Right...so...what am I to wear?
Shawn - Don't care...just leave.
* The girl walks away. *
Holly - Get up...me and Ace are going to take you out to lunch.
* Holly stands up assuming that Shawn's going to get up. Shawn rolls over taking the blanket off him revealing his naked body. Holly doesn't seem to flinch as she's staring. Ace meanwhile is looking out the window. Shawn sits up scratching himself on the chest and neck. He throws his legs over the bed and stands up noticing Holly is looking at him. *
Shawn I've got autographed pictures in the drawer. (winks)
* Ace turns around to see Holly watching Shawn walk away. *
Ace What the fuck?
Holly What?! Not everybody gets to see this side of Shawn Winters.
Ace Yes...they do.
* Shawn continues to walk towards the bathroom stepping over Charlie whose laying with another naked female. Shawn closes the door behind him. *
Ace Well we could do without that for a while.
* Ace then notices Holly looking at Shawn's end table where he has knocked over pill bottles. *
Holly Are you serious?!
Holly Does he do all this shit?
Ace You'd be surprised. He's got drugs for everything. Half of those are just to relieve pain in his back and to help him sleep at night.
Holly What are the others?
Ace To party?
Holly What is wrong with him? Is this seriously all because of Heather?
Ace Hannah...and by god no. He's been doing this shit as long as I've known him. He's bound to have some coke around here somewhere too. Either way...best thing to do is leave it alone.
Holly He needs help.
Ace Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No! The last thing Shawn is going to want right now is help. What we're going to do is take him out to lunch and not say a word. We're just going to try and take his mind off some things...and probably have some beers.
Holly Is that all you think about? Alcohol?
* Ace walks over to Holly starting to lift up his shirt. *
Holly Never mind.
Ace You asked.
* Right then Shawn walks back out from the bathroom with a pair of jeans on and no shirt. He looks around. *
Shawn Any idea where all my shit is?
Holly Did you throw it out the window too?
Shawn Fuck no...my shits Prada.
Holly Oh god.
* Shawn walks over to a closet and opens it up and grabs a button up shirt and throws it on. *
Holly Not going to shower?
Shawn Nope. Brushed my teeth I'm good to go. (smiles)
* Shawn grabs one of his pill bottles only Holly to grab his arm. *
Holly What are you doing?
Shawn Taking some Asprin?
* Holly takes a look at the bottle to see it's an Asprin bottle and lets go. Shawn throws a couple in his mouth. He searches around for a water bottle that doesn't have chew spit in it. He finds one and throws it back swallowing the pills. *
Holly Your life is a mess...and I mean that.
Shawn Nobody said looking behind the curtain was a good thing.
* Shawn grabs his phone and dials a number. *
Shawn Ty! Get your ass up...drive me somewhere.....I dont know....
* Shawn covers the mouth of the phone and turns to Holly and Ace. *
Shawn Where are we going?
Ace Fuck if I know, it was her idea.
Holly Do I look like Google? Have him find a good place for lunch.
* Shawn goes back to his phone. *
Shawn Google us somewhere good for lunch. We'll be down in the lobby in 10.
* The scene fades as Shawn, Ace, and Holly walk over people as they head towards the lobby. *
* The scene opens up as Shawn, Ace, and Holly are sitting outside at a table drinking. The waiter brings over some croissants. *
Shawn What the fuck is this?
Waiter A croissant sir.
Shawn Do I look like I want a croissant? I want a fucking cheeseburger you fuck! What the hell is wrong with you! I ordered a cheeseburger! Plus my beer is half way empty!
Waiter Did you want a Chip Butty?
Shawn CHEESEBURGER!!!!! Speak English!
Waiter I am speaking English.
Shawn No...you're speaking some sort of foreign bullshit. I don't speak Spanish!
Waiter I'm sorry but you realize that you're the one whose foreign mate?
Shawn What? I'm not foreign! I'm fucking American you piece of shit! You're the one whose foreign! Now get these croissants out of here and bring me a burger MATE!
* Shawn throws the croissants to the ground as the waiter picks them up. *
Shawn We need more beer too!
* The waiter walks away. *
Shawn Jesus...why can't people just learn our language I don't get it?
Holly I don't understand why people can't stop being fat.
Ace I don't understand why my penis is in my pants right now.
* They're all silent. *
Ace Oh...sorry, that wasn't meant to be said out loud.
* Right then a stranger walks up to Shawn. *
Stranger Me scuse mate...have a fag?