* The scene opens up inside of Shawn Winters Los Angeles home. He's looking at himself in the mirror seemingly checking for something. *
Hannah (yelling) BABE! Don't you have that thing in an hour?!
Shawn (yelling) YES! In an hour!
* Shawn continues to look at himself in the mirror. *
Shawn I don't look 30 do I? I could probably pass as 21 if I tried. Hell maybe I should hit up USC again for some talent and tell them that I'm a student who just transferred....nah that won't work, to many people know who I am. Maybe I can pay the internet to have my birth date changed. Who would I contact if I wanted to contact the internet? Al Gore? Didn't he invent the internet? Or maybe Bill Gates? I think he controls it? Or maybe I should just write Obama a letter to plead with him to change my birth certificate. Shit...how can women lie about their ages so well? I mean it's so hard to tell whose 15 and whose 18. Why can't it be like that for me? People should think that I'm 25 or something, I can't be 30. That means statistically if the average age of death for men is 78...with my lifestyle I'll be lucky to reach 60...so my life is half way over. March 12th...is going to get here faster than I ever thought possible. Hell for all I know, with this psycho out there trying to kill me I might not even have to worry about turning 30. For all I know I could die in the next few days before my birthday even gets here...one can only hope I guess.
* Shawn sighs before tossing some water in his face from the sink. He dries his face off before heading out from the bathroom and down the stairs joining his wife Hannah whose using the Xbox Kinect to exercise. *
Hannah How long is security going to be hanging around our house?
Shawn Until the police find the psycho wanting to kill me. What the hell are you doing?
Hannah I'm exercising.
Shawn No...you're standing there looking like a complete idiot.
Hannah Don't get made at me when I can get away with doing this stuff and staying in shape when you have to actually work out and run every day to get your old ass in shape.
Shawn Old ass?! Old ass?!
Hannah It's alright Shawn, I'll still love you when your hair starts turning grey.
Shawn Don't you even start!
Hannah Balding though might be where I draw the line.
Shawn Oh...you don't even know! This glorious hair that I got on my head isn't going anywhere! I'm going to be like a fine wine, I'll get better with age you just watch.
Hannah The only guy that I can think of that aged well is George Clooney, and you're not George Clooney.
Shawn Last time I checked I married a girl that didn't have such a fat ass! That Kinect clearly isn't working!
Hannah SHAWN!
Shawn HANNAH!
Hannah You don't say things like that to a woman!
Shawn You're not a woman, you're my wife, I can say whatever I want to you. For example...you're just like your mother.
* Hannah stomps her foot and gets an angry look on her face. *
Shawn Gotta love marriage don't ya? Next time think twice before trying to make fun of me because I got an office filled with ways to get under your skin. Think about that!
Hannah I hate you so much right now.
Shawn Love you too babe, I've gotta go.
* Shawn walks out the door as he heads for his appointment. *
Show Intro (Voice Over)
The BS Report is a free flowing conversation that occasionally touches on mature subjects.
First of all, this is the BS Report with Bill Simmons.
He might be cool, I don't know and if it's not I don't care.
The BS Report with Bill Simmons.
Bill Simmons works for ESPN and he is also named 'The Sports Guy' and he writes a comical sports column, he must be a popular dude.
The BS Report
It's got a real dirty sound, like a rusty steak knife cutting through a well aged steak.
Now, now, now, now, here's Bill Simmons.
Bill Welcome to the BS Report a semi-gloomy Friday here in southern California. But it's not gloomy because we have not on the Subway Fresh Take Hotline but in studio, the One Man Scandal Shawn Winters of Supreme Championship Wrestling, how are you doing?
Shawn I'm doing well Bill how bout yourself?
Bill I'm holding in there not going to lie. You're from LA aren't you?
Shawn I live here now yes, I'm originally from Louisville, Kentucky. Moved out here a few years ago to accommodate me a little bit better so to speak.
Bill Alright, so either way it wasn't a trouble for you to join us today?
Shawn Not at all, just have to take that car trip down the highway and take an exit haha. I'm a big fan of the show.
Bill Well thank you, it's always awkward interviewing somebody that doesn't listen.
Shawn Small talk can only get you so far right?
Bill Absolutely. As you are a fan of mine I would like to recuperate by saying I am a very big fan of yours as well. Anyone who listens to this Podcast knows that I am a very big wrestling fan and you are one the guys who actually keeps me watching well into my 40's.
Shawn Thanks Bill, it's always great to meet my fans, not going to lie though my fan base is 90 percent females so people may have some questions for you after listening to this Podcast haha.
Bill I'm not scared, I have quite a few love affairs with athlete's you'd be the least of my worries on that front.
Shawn Good to know haha.
Bill That is something that I wanted to touch on...you are good looking guy.
Shawn Here we go Bill, are you hitting on me now? Because I haven't had anything to drink yet today, I might be a bit shy haha.
Bill MEADE! Get Shawn a drink will you?!
Shawn Whatever you make, make it a double!
Bill Wow, this Podcast has gotten off to a terrible start.
Shawn Or a great start haha.
Bill Yes or a great start. I'll be out of a job by the end of the day.
Shawn I could always use more assistants Bill.
Bill You'd probably pay me more too.
Shawn We'll talk about that off air haha.
Bill Sure thing haha. But anyways back to the topic, what I wanted to ask you was how your looks have helped you in your life. I mean I've noticed that people in LA with good looks get farther than others. Especially ones that have a little bit of talent.
Shawn Well sure, I'd be lying if I said being attractive didn't have it's perks because it does. I'm always well taken care of at restaurants and hotels whenever I'm on the road. That's to do with being famous as well as having the face that is so recognizable. I'm sure you get favorable treatment as well.
Bill Not really, it's hard to have a recognizable face on a Podcast.
Shawn Haha yeah but trust me, people know who you are Bill. You've got people more excited about seeing you at those Clippers games more than the actual game.
Bill Not anymore! Not with Blake Griffin in town. The guy is blowing the roof off the Staples Center. Something I'm sure you've done a few times in your career.
Shawn I would like to think so yeah haha.
Bill So in professional wrestling do you think it's better to be attractive? Because those old school wrestling fans growing up watching guys like Stu Hart and Killer Kowalski who weren't known for their good looks might resent guys like you, somebody who might not have to work as hard.
Shawn Ya see that's just ignorant on their parts. But I'm not going to be able to change their minds because they're so old their not going to change the way they think now. The way I like to see it is that I've worked at everything that I have accomplished in my career. Multiple World Championship reigns and fans around the world. Anybody that actually watches me inside the ring know that they're going to see something special because that's my release. Some people go to Church or the Opera or build model spaceships in order to escape every day life. I get inside the ring to escape, it's inside that ring where I feel at home. If these old timers want to try and say that I haven't earned anything then they can kiss my ass because I have a broken back to prove it. I put my body on the line for people who might not even appreciate it, however it's what I do, and I only know how to do it one way and that's all out.
Bill That's something that I think gets overlooked by fans around the world. The wear and tear that goes into your bodies. You guys wrestle nearly every night with house shows, television tapings, and pay per views, you don't get an off season like other sports.
Shawn Exactly, which is why so many wrestlers just take time off in order to rest. Not every time when superstars take time off it's because of injury. It could just be mental fatigue.
Bill You've taken time off quite a few times. Whether it was re-injuring your back a few years ago against Chad Evans or leaving after losing to James Exeter a couple years ago. Take me through those processes.
Shawn Well you see those two situations couldn't have been further from different. Many people know that I have a history of back issues and it's going to be something that I have to live with throughout the rest of my career however long it may last. My abrupt exit from SCW after my loss to James Exeter was pretty well kept under raps by SCW management. I've never shied away from answering it and the truth is I was in jail.
Bill That story came out a few times during that time period, I'm surprised that SCW never issued a statement on it.
Shawn I'm not, I'm sure they wanted to distance themselves from it as much as they could. I was arrested for several charges that landed me in jail for about 8 months. I made a couple TV appearances when I was released but nothing to special as I was out the door once again trying to get everything back together.
Bill Which brought you back this past November.
Shawn Exactly, I was ready to come back, I was in great shape and had that competitive drive most importantly to re-establish myself as the best in the world. Something that people tend to forget due to SCW's short term memory. People like the recognize somebody riding their 15 minutes of fame as the greatest which can be said about a David Helms our current World Champion, people forget who Shawn Winters truly was and I'm here to remind those people.
Bill Speaking of taking time off and people calling themselves the best, I have to ask you about Jake Starr.
Shawn I was hoping you would.
Bill Rumors go around in professional wrestling like no other. Every week you're hearing different stories from different sources. Many are saying that Jake Starr suffered a concussion which if that's the case is a very serious injury and nobody knows when somebody truly recovers from those. Others are saying he was just burnt out after losing the SCW Championship and left because he lost. Then there is a third opinion that he left the moment you set your sights on him. I'd like to know where your thoughts lie on this situation?
Shawn I'm not the type of guy to shy away from comments Bill. I am truly under the impression that Jake Starr is a gutless coward.
Bill Wow.
Shawn It's no secret that the guy tried to make a name for himself at my expense when I was SCW Champion. He interrupted me trying to go after the best of the best only for him to quickly realize that he wasn't at my level. Nobody making a debut is going to get a shot at the SCW Champion, that's just asinine. He felt like he was deserving when by all accounts he didn't even deserve to share the same air time as me. If it wasn't for me leaving after Rise to Greatness that year I have no shadow of a doubt that he would have never been Champion. It's just ironic that the entire time I was gone he was going around calling himself the best in the world and the moment I return and the moment I confront him about his idiotic comments he disappears like a little pardon my french...*bleep*.
Bill We're going to have to censor that sorry Shawn.
Shawn Understandable.
Bill So you feel that Jake Starr straight up avoided you?
Shawn Of course, he doesn't want to face me and lose only to find out that he's been living a lie for the past two years. It's a lot like the Floyd Mayweather/Manny Pacquiao situation. Manny is more than willing to show he's the best but there's Floyd who doesn't want to risk the chance that he'll fail. He's a coward. No way around it, people can throw out words at people only for them to be refuted but when that person actually fulfills the label...it's going to stick with them forever. Jake Starr will never shake the label coward for the rest of his career. Is that a quality you see in the best in the world?
Bill No it's not.
Shawn Exactly...I walked out and stood toe to toe with Jake Starr and what does he do? He backs down. No fake concussion story will ever make up for him cowering in fear the moment I actually gave him the time he spent two years striving for. Just imagine Bill...a football player spending his entire career striving to win the Super Bowl only to get there and fall under the pressure and fail miserably. He'll be labeled for his entire career as a choke artist. Jake Starr is forever and always going to be a coward and a choke artist.
Bill You sure do know how to speak your mind that's for sure.
Shawn I don't shy away from a confrontation unlike certain people.
Bill I see where you're coming from. What I did find interesting was this Vampira chick who came out to confront you when you were speaking your mind about Jake Starr. Where did that come from? From what I've seen you two haven't crossed paths at any point, so for her to come out and interrupt you seemed kind of random.
Shawn Because it was. The fact is, every other month or so some punk kid thinks that they can come out and make a name for themselves off of mine. Jake Starr tried to do it when he first came into SCW and now we've got Vampira trying to escalate her career to another level using me as that stepping stone. You can't know how good you are until you test yourself against the best in the business and I'm the best in the business. I don't blame Vampira for wanting her shot at me, I just blame the company for giving it to her. What has she done to deserve such a treasure? As far as I'm concerned she's not really worth my time or effort. It's just a fill in for the fact that Jake Starr left leaving a trail of piss and shit on his way out the door. Sasha knows that a pay per view without Shawn Winters wouldn't create enough revenue so she gave the first person asking for a shot the opportunity.
Bill So you don't see it as giving her credit, more as a last ditch effort for SCW to get you on the PPV? Possibly trying to save face with Jake Starr.
Shawn That's a way to look at it Bill sure.
Bill Being an SCW superstar that brings a lot of travel with the job. I'm curious to know how that effects your home life? From what I understand you have recently married.
Shawn For a 3rd time Bill, you don't have to be afraid to say it haha.
Bill Alright for a 3rd time, is that your answer the the question?
Shawn It could be part of it sure. Being on the road for more than half the year sure takes away from being at home and being with my wife. All the hotels is the toughest part. A guy likes to sleep in his own bed.
Bill Very true. It was hell for me during Super Bowl week in Dallas and those hotel beds. You just can't seem to pay enough for a bed as good as your own.
Shawn It's very true.
Bill What I was getting at is Utah Jazz basketball player Andrei Kirilenko, his wife has given him one free pass every season to do what he wants on the road. Has that offer ever been given to you from any of your three wives?
Shawn Is that actually true?
Bill Yes, completely 100 percent true. No telling whether he has used those free passes or not but she has gone on record as saying she gives him one.
Shawn Wow, how could somebody not take advantage of something like that? I think I've already found wife number four Jesus haha.
Bill So are you saying you've never received that pass?
Shawn Can't say that I have Bill, can't say that I have. Are you sure it's not just some kind of test to see if he'd cheat on her? Women can be conniving like that.
Bill Not from what I've heard her say, I believe it's a legit offer.
Shawn That's definitely something that should written into wedding vows these days haha. Let me ask you Bill, have you ever received said pass?
Bill From my wife? Oh no, there's no way she'd give me such a pass.
Shawn I don't know Bill, with all your love affairs with athletes and then there's Michelle Beadle, who I've heard has been talked favorably by you on your Podcast.
Bill It's true, if ESPN had a draft Michelle Beadle would undoubtedly be the #1 overall pick.
Shawn She's a hottie not going to lie. I'd probably propose to her the moment I met her haha.
Bill So you'd throw your current wife out the window for Michelle Beadle?
Shawn Sure why not.
Bill You're going to have divorce papers waiting for you when you get home.
Shawn Not a chance she's not going to listen to this show haha.
Bill Nobody does haha.
Shawn You should be worried too Bill...I mean one woman could tear apart both our marriages.
Bill You're going to get me fired and get me divorced thanks a lot Shawn haha.
Shawn Hey, I like to create controversy what did you expect from me when you invited me on the show?
Bill Can anyone really expect anything when it comes to you?
Shawn You can expect entertainment Bill...you can expect entertainment. One question for you, you mentioned Super Bowl week, how was it in Dallas? I wanted to go so badly but with my schedule I wasn't able to make it down there.
Bill That's right you're a Packers fan aren't you?
Shawn Damn right I am.
Bill How did that come about? Being from Kentucky I'd expect you to be a Titans or Colts fan.
Shawn Yeah there are a lot those fans in Kentucky but I've gotta say, I've just always liked the Packers. There is this certain history there and tradition that other franchises don't really have. The first football game I went to as a kid was a Packers/Bears game that my father took me too when we were in Wisconsin for some work thing that he was doing. I guess after that I was hooked.
Bill So you must have been excited after the Super Bowl was over.
Shawn I was on cloud nine Bill. I watched Brett Favre win his Super Bowl and I'm hoping I just witnessed the first of many Aaron Rodgers Super Bowl Championships.
Bill They've got the looks of a dynasty, they're very young but it's been a while since the NFL has had a dynasty. The Patriots probably came closest to those legendary Cowboys, Steelers, and 49ers teams.
Shawn I think they can do it. I'm tempted to make a bet with a friend of mine Clay Matthews...
Bill You're friends with Clay Matthews?
Shawn Yeah, met him a few times when he played for USC. He's invited me out to some Packers games, he's a good guy. A wrestling fan too. We have great respect for one another.
Bill What was this bet?
Shawn What would happen first an NFL labor agreement or a Shawn Winters World Championship victory.
Bill The way it's going I'd put my money on you.
Shawn See I would too but there has been recent actions by an unnamed superstar who has bet away his life for the sake of the SCW Championship. I'm not as ignorant as he is haha.
Bill I think everybody knows who you're talking about Shawn.
Shawn Yeah, I just can't say his name because every time I'm about to I vomit haha.
Bill Haha well we can't have that happen, especially not when you're in studio.
Shawn Yeah it'd be a shame for whoever was responsible for cleaning it up.
Bill It'd be Joe Meade.
Shawn Always the producer's job.
Bill I'm the talent, I'm not responsible for actual work.
Shawn Haha we never are Bill.
Bill Now as you know I've been a wrestling fan for a very long time and I wanted to touch on that this newer generation of performers you included has really been hit or miss. You've got guys that show a lot of promise only to not quite reach their true potential. Then you've got guys like you who somehow was able to make everything click and become one of the best if not THE best all around performer in the business. You're great to watch in the ring as well as listen to on the microphone, I'm curious to know what your thoughts are about why some of these superstars don't make it and why some things just come easier to others?
Shawn It's hard to say really...I mean you've got guys that reach the main event status and possibly win the SCW Championship only to never sniff that status again it's interesting because it gets tiring when I had to wrestle Jason Zero or Christian Savior countless times for the span of 4 months.
Bill Do you think that David Helms has what it takes to stay on top?
Shawn Not at all.
Bill Not at all?
Shawn No, do I think he's going to retain the title at Retribution? I do because I see Christy Matthews as less of a threat than I see David Helms. I look at it as if this person would give me a challenge when I once again hold the SCW Championship and I don't think David Helms would give me said challenge. He's the type of guy whose flame is going to die out rather quickly. The verdict is still out on him as Champion and my money is leaning towards him being a failure. He has yet to capture my attention as Champion and that just goes to show that he's not entertaining.
Bill If anyone listens to this you're not going to be making a lot of friends haha.
Shawn I've got enough friends, I don't need any more haha.
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