One Man Scandal
* The scene opens up in Shawn Winters Los Angeles home. He's putting on a suit while staring into a mirror as his wife Hannah comes up behind him and fixes his collar and brushes off his shoulders. Shawn turns around and leans against the dresser. *
Shawn You know that I don't want to do this right? This isn't on my bucket list.
Hannah You know that you're going anyway right? Otherwise that bucket list of yours won't get anything accomplished.
Shawn Ugh...come on Hannah they're YOUR parents. I don't need to be there.
Hannah Yes you do! You're my husband if you haven't forgotten, if I'm expected to be there then so are you! Besides...my parents love you!
Shawn Ugh don't remind me. Last time I saw your mom she wouldn't stop telling me how much she loved me.
Hannah Shawn I told you that my mom likes to have a drink every now and again. That doesn't mean you have to take everything she says so seriously. She was probably joking around with you.
Shawn She asked me if kitty wanted some candy.
Hannah Were you said kitty?
Shawn I'm now sure because she meowed right after it.
Hannah Well that's my mother for you. Just stay with my dad all night then.
Shawn Oh god don't get me started on the awkwardness of your father.
Hannah Oh don't you get ME started! I figured you two would have a great old time telling him exactly how you're giving it to me every night. Trust me...he wants to hear that.
Shawn See that's the thing I don't get...is he just trying to trick me with that stuff?
Hannah Oh no! My dad thinks that sex is a perfectly natural thing and that it should be shared with people. You should have been there whenever I had a date pick me up in high school. His first question wasn't: When are you going to have my daughter back by? It was: Do you have condoms?
Hannah It was disturbing, it was like my father was whoring me out. I'd come home and he'd ask me if I had sex with him and when I'd say no he'd call me a prude. He always talked about his days when he'd have orgies and all these other kinds of sexual parties when he was growing up, you'd think that he'd be more protective of his daughters! No instead it was a lot harder for my brother Phil.
Hannah My brother Phil was always a shy kid and here my dad was trying to get him to hook up with any girl he could get his hands on. He even bought him a prostitute for his 16th birthday trying to get him to lose his virginity!
Shawn Wow...I don't know how I'd take it if my son wasn't a chip off the old block.
Hannah You're not helping.
Shawn Well just saying to have these awesome powers I guess you could say with women and for your own offspring to not be able to follow in those footsteps? It'd be a hard pill to swallow. With great power comes great responsibility to get laid. (smirks)
* Hannah then playfully punches Shawn in the chest. He grabs his chest in pain. *
Hannah Take it you big baby!
Shawn Your daddy teach you that?
* Hannah kicks him in the shin this time. *
Shawn (laughing) Ow!!!!
Hannah Stop fucking around we need to get going. I'm sure my brother and sister are already there.
Shawn How old is your sister now?
Shawn No seriously...I have a little sister too I was just curious?!
Hannah She's 17...I know how she get's you stay away from her!
* Shawn playfully looks down at his crotch while gesturing to it. *
Shawn This thing has a mind of it's own! Two heads equals two brains!
Hannah You are such an animal.
Shawn Take it you big baby! (smiles)
* Shawn and Hannah walk out the front door. *
* The scene opens up showing Shawn Winters and Hannah parking their car and walking into a rather nice hotel where her parents anniversary dinner is located. They walk up to the front desk and double check to see where they are expected. The receptionist motions down the hall towards a banquet room. They walk into the room and right away there is some loud music playing and quite a few people dancing and drinking. Not seconds later it's Hannah's father Alec walking over to them with his arms extended. He grabs Hannah and gives her a massive hug. *
Alec There's my girl! So glad you could make it.
* He gives her a kiss on the cheek before turning to Shawn. *
Alec Shawn my boy! Uh oh...here comes to ass grab!
* Alec steps in towards Shawn with his arms extended. *
Shawn No, no sir no ass gr-and there it is....yeah, thanks sir.
Alec How many times have I told you? Call me Alec. You're apart of our family now! I understand that you had a falling out with your own family...
Ugh, yeah a falling out with my family would be putting it mildly. Not everyone can state claim to ruining their brothers wedding and being the cause of his fiancee or ex-fiancee to kill herself. To say that my family isn't talking to me right now would be modest. They down right hate me and I don't really blame them. The only person I've been in contact since then has been my little sister Brooke. For whatever reason she has always looked up to me. She found it funny because she hated Katie and Marcus just as much as I did haha. God I love that kid. It's been two years since I've spoken to my parents, can't say I really miss it though.
Hannah Dad, come on...Shawn doesn't like to talk about what happened with him and his family.
Alec Inderstood, Shawn I just want you to feel loved and welcomed into this family! Your families loss is our gain!
Shawn Right, thanks Alec.
Alec So I trust that you're giving it to my daughter properly?
Alec What? I just want to make sure that Shawn's taking care of you alright. Now are you two giving each other oral because it's something very enjoyable when done right.
Shawn (smirks) Alec I think we've got this taken care of.
Hannah I'm going to go find mom.
* Hannah walks away while Alec puts his arm around Shawn and guides him towards the bar. *
Alec Have a drink, it's an open bar.
* Shawn orders a drink from the bartender and takes a drink. *
Alec So is Hannah open to anal?
* Shawn spits out his drink and puts his hand over his mouth. *
Alec What? Did I say something wrong?
Alec It's not just for women too. Open yours up (slaps Shawn on the ass) you might like you find.
Alec Haha don't be so literal. Let Hannah stick a finger in there every once and a while, it's quite the experience.
Shawn I'm sure you'd know.
Alec Me and Bonnie have all these sorts of toys. She uses beads, dildos, you imagine it and we've got it. Are you guys using roleplaying? My favorite is the police officer. I've always been a fan of restraints. (winks)
* Shawn motions for the bartender to give him another drink and to make this one a double. *
Alec Have you two experimented with bringing in a third party?
Shawn Now see that would be something I'd be interested in but Hannah's not to keen on it.
Alec Bring in another man.
Shawn Oh my god...
Alec I mean just really give it to her ya know?
Shawn You realize that this is your daughter right?
Alec Of course, which is why I want to make sure she's being taken care of sexually.
Shawn Trust me Alec...I've got things under control. I'm not some 13 year old kid whose getting his first boner, I know what I'm doing down there.
Alec I trust that you do, it would make me feel a lot better if I knew what you were packing.
Shawn Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
Alec You keep drinking like that I'll catch ya when you go to the bathroom haha.
Alec I'll talk to you later Shawn, enjoy the party.
* He pats Shawn on the back as he walks away. Shawn leans up against the bar and breaths a sigh of relief. He turns his head to see Hannah's brother Phil getting a drink. *
Shawn I've got to say, your dad is...interesting.
Phil Ask you how big your dick was yet?
Shawn In so few words yes. I will say this though, from a sons perspective he seems like an awesome dad.
Phil That's what all my friends would say however I never saw it that way.
Shawn Hannah told me about the prostitute on your birthday...not that I'd of ever needed one but to a normal kid that'd be an amazing gift.
Phil That's the thing nobody gets it. Just because I've never had a girlfriend my father thinks that there's something wrong with me.
Shawn Is there?
Shawn Are you gay? Because from the looks of it your dad wouldn't seem to be upset by the news.
Phil No, I'm just as straight as you and yes my father would probably love it if I was gay, then he could talk to me about all these things he did in the 70's.
Shawn So what's the deal? You're how old?
Phil I'm 22.
Shawn In college I'm assuming?
Shawn I'm assuming that you're not a virgin.
Phil No...I've had sex once.
Shawn And you want to have more of it right? Haha
Phil Yes of course it's just...
Shawn Small penis?
Phil I don't know...it's average I guess. It's just a mixture of things.
Shawn Hey I'm all ears...the longer I have somebody other than your father to talk to the better.
Phil Well for one I don't really know how to talk to women.
Shawn Oh that's easy.
Phil And second, I...I guess I just psych myself out. The moment I find out that a girl is interested in me I just clam up and don't do anything about it because I'm embarrassed that I'll be horrible at it and she'll laugh and tell her friends.
Shawn Jesus...that's a bit awkward.
Phil You're telling me. You're kind of known for getting a lot of girls...
Shawn I've had my fair share I suppose. (smirks)