One Man Scandal
Shawn Winters

You Can't Go Home Again

October 23, 2010 – About 8:00 PM – Louisville, Kentucky

DJ Biggs – And now introducing the Best Man and the Maid of Honor, Shawn You Know You Love Him Winters and Kourtney Has Legs a Mile Long Cunning!

* Shawn and Kourtney dance a quick shimmy after being introduced into the wedding reception while the room claps. Shawn than smacks her on the ass she she climbs the stairs up to the head table. *

DJ Biggs – Finally, the moment you've all been waiting for. Introducing for the first time: Mr. and Mrs. Matthew and Kimberly Jackson!!!

* Matt and Kim hold hands as they walk into the banquet hall for their wedding reception as the room stands and claps. They wave to everyone before Matt kisses Kim on the hand and leads her to her seat at the table where they join the five groomsman and bridesmaids. *

Matt – May I have everyone's attention please!

* Matt stands up with Kim standing by his side. He has a microphone in hand. *

Matt – I would like to thank all of you for coming out tonight. Especially those who helped in making this possible. Our family, our friends, our soon to be friends I hope, this day has meant the world to us and it couldn't have been made possible if we weren't able to share it with the people we love.

* Kim then grabs the mic. *

Kim – My husband's, that sounds so weird, my husband haha.

* The crowd “Aw's”. *

Kim – Thanks! (smiles) But like Matt said, this night was made possible by you guys. Everyone who has supported us being together and everyone who has helped us grow stronger through everything that has happened. We truly from the bottom of our hearts want to thank you. You made this this possible, well you and an expensive ring!

* Everyone laughs as Matt and Kim sit down. *

DJ Biggs – I don't know if I'm drunk already but aren't the Maid of Honor and the Best Man supposed to be toasting right now instead of the Bride and Groom thanking everybody? I thought that was last?

* Everyone laughs again as Kourtney stands up beside her sister Kim. She grabs the microphone in one hand and pulls a piece of paper out of her cleavage with the other. *

DJ Biggs – Piece of paper in the cleavage, I knew this wedding was going to be classy!

* Everyone laughs once more. *

Kourtney – Everyone hang with me here. I wrote a poem for my speech and it might get emotional so please let me get through it before anyone applauds...or boos I guess haha. Ok, here we go.

Kim...Sis...for the longest time you were my everything.
I looked up to you as if you were my hero.
Everything I had ever said was always heard.
Even that one time when I killed moms' bird.
You stood beside me at the fair.
On my 21st birthday you were the one holding my hair.
Holding my hand as you walked me to my first day of school.
To the crazy nights where we'd dance acting like a fool.
With all of my broken hearts I came to you.
Only for you to tell me that you're thinking about being a lesbian too.
Through all of my hopes and fears.
You were my sister who dried all of my tears.
Sis, I thank you for making me who I am but my thanks will have no ends.
And to Matt, thank you, for having such good looking friends.

* The entire crowd laughs before standing and applauding as Kourtney and Kim share a hug both smiling and crying. Kourtney now hands the microphone to Shawn who stands up. *

Shawn – Well, I'm regretting my decision of not preparing anything already, thanks Kourtney.

* Everyone laughs. *

Shawn – For anyone that knows me, I have an ability with words, but I'm finding it hard tonight coming up with the littlest of them to describe the love between Matt and Kim. I remember the first time that me and Matt laid eyes on her at the bar. To my recollection I was the one who called dibs, but then again Matt was never the best listener.

* People laugh. *

Shawn – His opening line to this day I remember: “I sent you a Facebook friend request, do you want to go to my place and accept it?”

* Everyone laughs as Matt and Kim blush. *

Shawn – To that day I had always tried to teach him how to be smooth. It took me until that night to realize that I had failed miserably.

* People laugh. *

Shawn – Through all of the fun facts that he likes to repeat endlessly for months on end, Yes Matt, we all know the lead singer of Metro Station was Miley Cyrus' brother....sorry inside joke.

* The head table laughs. *

Shawn – That's when I knew that Kim was the real deal. Anybody that's able to put up with Matt for 24 hours a day has to be in it for the long haul. So everyone, I'd love for you all to raise your glasses. To Matt and Kim, coming from a guy who has failed miserably at marriage, I wish to you the best of luck in accomplishing something that I never could...true happiness! TO MATT AND KIM!!!

* Everyone cheers as Shawn and Matt exchange a hug. Shawn also gets one from Kim as well. *

Saturday 15, 2011 – Louisville, Kentucky.

* The scene opens up with Shawn and his friend Matt sitting at a table watching the Packers vs. the Falcons playoff game with a couple pitchers of beer in front of them and some empty dinner plates. *

Matt – You are going to hate yourself when the Falcons win this game.

Shawn – Are you kidding me? Aaron Rodgers vs. Matt Ryan? You've clearly had to much to drink. You were always a light weight haha.

Matt – Oh screw you!!! I taught you how to do your first beer bong son!

Shawn – Wow, my first beer bong? I had my first beer bong when I was 13 straight out of your mom's tit.

Matt – Are you insinuating my mom produces beer from her nipples?

Shawn – Only reason why I gave the fat whore the time of day haha.

* Matt punches Shawn in the arm before laughing a bit. *

Matt – God damn I've missed you man. How long has it been?

Shawn – The wedding.

Matt – Wow, it has hasn't it? What happened? Don't remember how to use a phone in your constant comatose state of drugs and alcohol?

Shawn – No, no, but it seems a bit childish to call a married man and ask his wife if he can come out and play haha.

Matt – Bitch I don't have to ask my wife anything. I can go out whenever I damn well please! And who are you to talk anyways?! Your wife is just as bad if not worse than mine!

Shawn – In what way?

Matt – She's constantly calling you every 25 minutes to check in on you for starters.

Shawn – That's what happens when you actually satisfy your woman, they're always calling wanting more. I can't help it my wife loves me.

Matt – Is that why you're always ignoring her calls? Because you're so tired of “satisfying” her with your 2 inch cock?

Shawn – It gets bigger haha. No, for your information I don't answer her calls because it's annoying as fuck. The last thing I need is for her to hear in the background the sounds of another girl sucking my dick.

Matt – DUDE! Why do you have to bring shit like that up?! I don't want to be hearing about your infidelities. I'm a married man, I don't want that shit rubbing off on me.

Shawn – Dude, I said that exact same thing to Charlie last night haha.

* Matt gets up acting as if he's going to leave only for Shawn to stop him. *

Shawn – Alright...alright...I'm sorry. This brain of mine, it doesn't have an On/Off switch. You know I don't think before I speak.

Matt – Then it's probably a smart thing to ignore most of Hannah's calls.

Shawn – Exactly, I can only focus my mind on certain things at a time. Like the Packers scoring a touchdown on this drive.

* Matt sits back down. Their waitress walks up to the table and reaches for the two empty plates. *

Waitress – May I take these away from ya'll?

Matt – Oh here let me help you.

* Matt stacks the plates on top of each other and places the silver wear on top. *

Waitress – Aw, thanks sweetie.

* She walks away before Shawn turns and stares at Matt with a smirk on his face. *

Shawn – You're here lecturing me about my infidelities while you're sitting her flirting on Miss Southern Belle over there.

Matt – I was just stacking the plates.

Shawn – I bet that's not all you're stacking.

* Shawn pretends to look under the table jokingly. *

Matt – Stop it. It was nothing, just being nice.

Shawn – Do you remember what I told you at your wedding reception about marriage?

Matt – YOU?!

Shawn – Heh, I understand your question, I was pretty hammered but this was before your 14 year old sister so I remember.

Matt – Ah...right.

Shawn – How is Abby by the-

Matt – Shawn!

Shawn – Sorry...

October 23, 2010 – About 9:30 PM – Louisville, Kentucky

* Matt walks up to Shawn as he is talking to Kourtney the Maid of Honor and sister of the bride. *

Matt – Shawn, I wanted to thank you for that speech you gave, even if you didn't mean a word of it.

Shawn – (to Kourtney) Excuse us for a second.

* Shawn escorts Matt away from Kourtney for a second. *

Shawn – You're welcome on the speech and to you a congratulations would be in order I suppose.

Matt – Thanks dude, means a lot coming from you.

Shawn – You took the correct first step into marriage.

Matt – What do you mean?

Shawn – Marrying a regular girl.

Matt – I'm not following you...

Shawn – The correct first step into marriage is to marry a regular girl. Attractive girl but regular none the less. Because by doing that when you cheat on her with models and centerfolds you don't look like a dumbass. See if you married a model and or centerfold what's left for you to cheat on her with? Cheat on her with a regular girl like a waitress at a Hooters? No, you'd look like a dumbass for cheating down. But you see, logically by marrying that regular girl it leaves you open to cheating on her with those models and centerfolds and your argument is: “they're models or centerfolds”, it's a sound argument.

Matt – (sarcastically) And here I thought marriage was all about love.

Shawn – You'll figure it out in your second marriage. (smirks)

Matt – I've been meaning to ask you, where's Hannah? You two have been seeing each other for a couple months now. I figured she'd be here with you.

Shawn – Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why would I want to bring a ball and chain when I'm trying to swim in an ocean of women? It's only going to make me drown. I'm trying to stay afloat here. There might be problems later on but I'll cross that road when I get to it. Now, in the meantime I've got a road to cross right over there.

* Shawn points to Kourtney. *

Matt – Damn it Shawn, you can't hook up with my wife's sister.

Shawn – Hey, just because a man can't hunt doesn't mean he won't catch a stray.

* Shawn smirks at Matt before rejoining his conversation with Kourtney. *

Saturday 15, 2011 – Louisville, Kentucky.

Matt – Right, right how could I forget, the cheating down speech.

Shawn – It's just common knowledge. Now take a good hard look at our waitress over there. Is she a supermodel?

Matt – No.

Shawn – Is she a centerfold?

Matt – No.

Shawn – Is she even a seven?

Matt – Eh...

Shawn – The correct answer is no. Now Kim, she's a solid eight, so you've already scored heigher than you deserve.

Matt – Hey!

Shawn – It's just the truth, so unless you're going to score higher than an eight, you've got no business looking at anyone. You don't want to end up like Tiger Woods do you? Have a fine ass wife and cheat on her with some waitress'.

Matt – He screwed a porn star didn't he?

Shawn – An ugly one, she doesn't count. He completely screwed things up. The public wasn't mad at him because he cheated on his wife multiple times.

Matt – I think they were.

Shawn – No, they were mad because he didn't do it right. You've got to follow the system. The system works, just like the BCS.

Matt – The BCS doesn't work.

Shawn – There you go again, sticking up for the little guys.

Matt – Sometimes, I'm impressed by your thought process but your delivery and outgoing messages seem to warrant me to stay away from any thought you may have.

Shawn – Like I said, I can't turn this brain off. If there is one thing I know, and I know a lot of things, it's women. I'm not called the Prince of Pussy or the Captain of the Clit for nothing.

Matt – You're not called the Prince of Pussy or the Captain of the Clit.

Shawn – I just made them up, you like em? Catchy right?

Matt – No...just no.

Shawn – Question, do you know why Niagra Falls never stops? Because Shawn Winters never stops. True story.

Matt – You are easily the most narcissistic person I have ever met. Your smugness could create a new o-zone layer.

Shawn – Me? You're the one saying that I'm saving the planet haha.

Matt – You've got one giant head on you that's for sure.

Shawn – Funny, that's the same thing that Kourtney said on your wedding night.

Matt – No....

Shawn – Yes...

Matt – told me, she told me that nothing happened between you two!

Shawn – Oh but it did.

Matt – No, two two were....YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!

Shawn – Haha I told you at the wedding! Just because I can't hunt doesn't mean I won't catch a stray! She was the one making all the moves, I just calmly stood by and let it all happen.

Matt – Damn it! Is that where you were when you were gone for an hour?

Shawn – Yup.

Matt – You let me believe that you made out with my 14 year old sister?!

Shawn – Dude she was coming on to me too. I'm pretty sure I denied her though, I was pretty drunk though.

Matt – Damn it! How did me or Kim not know about this?

Shawn – I was in a relationship, I couldn't have Kourtney going around telling people I screwed her.

Matt – All this time and I had no clue.

Shawn – Okay come on, calm down, face it, this isn't the worst thing that you've heard of me doing. At least it wasn't your sister.

Matt – You never cease to amaze me. Just when I thought you couldn't become a bigger asshole you go and top yourself. Congratulations Shawn, you banged my sister in law. How bout I give you a call when my sister turns 18? I'm sure you'll be off of your fourth divorce by then.

Shawn – Come on now, don't get all pissed off. If it wasn't me sleeping with her it would have been somebody else. Would you really have rather had Jason or Adam sleep with her? I'm pretty sure I was the lesser of the evils that night. You can't honestly be pissed at me, I did what you told me, I didn't pursue her at all. You didn't give me advice, turns out you gave me a game plan.

Matt – Yeah I suppose you have a point. Kourtney has always been the type to use guys too. The last thing I'd have needed would be for one of those two to have had sex with her and thought that they were in love or something. At least with you two you both knew what you were getting into.

Shawn – that whole know you can't tell Kim right?

Matt – Why not?

* Shawn just gives Matt a stare. *

Matt – Ah....right, Hannah. Great, now you've got me lying to my wife.

Shawn – I'm so proud, you're turning more and more into me each day.

Matt – That's not exactly what I had in mind.

Shawn – FUCK YES!!!

* Shawn reacts to the Packers scoring a touchdown. *

Shawn – Did you see that?

Matt – Yeah, I caught a glimpse of it.

Shawn – All day.

* They each take a drink of their beers. *

Shawn – So, how is the whole married life been? Doesn't seem like you've cracked yet.

Matt – It's going great. It doesn't really seem to be all that different really. I mean we lived together for a year before getting married so nothing new there. It's just a matter of time before we start trying to have kids.

Shawn – Oh god, big mistake!

Matt – Right, coming from the guy who hasn't seen his own son since...since...

Shawn – Ever...I never saw my son and I plan to keep it that way.

Matt – Yeah, I think Angie would probably like to keep it that way too.

Shawn – Then let's just leave it at that.

Matt – How bout you? How has the married life treated you?

Shawn – Well let's see, I got married about a month after you did, shortly after Thanksgiving, drunk off my ass in Vegas to a woman that I had only been dating for a few months prior. As good as one could expect I guess. I haven't gotten tired of having sex with her yet so that's a good sign right?

Matt – Haha I would say in your case it's a really good sign. Does she...does she approve of your recent job change?

Shawn – Job change? Oh right, leaving the network and returning to the ring?

Matt – Yeah, does she approve?

Shawn – Of course she does. I make more money and considering she doesn't seem to be getting paid any time soon the more money that comes in from me is more then enough to get her to look past what I do.

Matt – Well it's not like you're strapped for cash. You're worth fucking millions of dollars. Some rappers could be jealous of you. Clothing line, a restaurant, a couple night clubs, your dormant acting career, and now once again a wrestling career. You could rest easily for the rest of your life and not be able to spend all of your money between the both of you.

Shawn – Yeah know women, they always want more. The sooner she can get a damn record label to sign her the sooner I can start to bring girls home and screw them in the comfort of my own bed haha.

Matt – She still trying for a singing career huh?

Shawn – Why not? It's not like she's down on money to be forced into getting a job. You'd think that she'd be focused on that compared to-

* Shawn is interrupted by his phone ringing. He looks at it and it's his wife Hannah. He shows it to Matt before setting it back down and silencing it. *

Shawn – Compared to calling me all the time.

Matt – Yeah well at least you make more than you're wife. I'm starting to get scared that I'll be the one taking time off because of our kids when she's the one making more money than I am. It's embarrassing.

Shawn – Like I said before, you already married up. Be happy with what you've got man. Not everybody can have the leisure of living the life that I do, let alone handle it mentally and physically.

Matt – That's what the alcohol and pills are for right?

* Shawn taps his nose with his finger while pointing at Matt. His way of telling him that he's correct. *

Matt – Look at us, couldn't be more different and yet here we sit, our hometown, at the bar we seemingly grew up in watching football like we used to...and yet we're both married and about to turn 30 this year. It makes you wonder where everything has gone.

Shawn – It makes me wonder if I'll remember the next 30 years haha.

Matt – I'm going to bet no on that one.

Shawn – Seems like there's been a lot of betting going around these days.

Matt – What do you mean?

Shawn – Nothing...let's just watch the game.

* Scene Ends. *

* Shawn is seen relaxing in a chair at home with a beer bottle in one hand and a spitter in the other. He spits out his chew spit into the cup before taking a drink of his beer. You then noticed that Shawn is watching Greg Cherry's reaction from losing at Gang Rulz on repeat. *

Shawn – Haha, it's like telling your prom date that you forgot to wear a condom. It's just sad.

* Shawn turns off the video. *

Shawn – How was Christmas for you Greg? Did Santa bring you that family that you were asking for? No? How bout New Years? Did you ring in the new year by kissing your wife? No to that as well? Well by God Greg, it seems like you've been a bad boy and Santa didn't feel like you deserved what you wanted for Christmas. Either that or maybe he just got you mixed up with another Greg Cherry and gave your family to him, maybe that Greg Cherry will actually know how to handle the responsibilities and expectations of being a father and a husband. It just really pains me to think about what Ashley had to tell your poor son on Christmas morning when you weren't there: “Sorry honey, Daddy doesn't really love you.” HAHAHAHA!!! Oh I would pay money, I would PAY my hard earned money, not bet it away Greg...just to see the look on his face after hearing that. His whole entire world would come crashing down. Everything that he knew in life would be all for not. His hopes and dreams might as well be crushed because forever and always no matter what you do as a father he will remember that one Christmas that you weren't there. He will remember it and will always consider you to be a failure as a father because of it. Let's hope he doesn't have a birthday coming up Greg because then he's going to have plenty of ammunition against you. Oh who am I kidding, you're going to miss all of his birthdays! Hahaha!

Now it might not seem like it but I'm actually getting this to a point here. Body, Heart, and Soul is just around the corner and it's in the good ol' state of Pennsylvania. The home state of you, Greg Cherry yee haw partner! That just has to get you pumped up doesn't it Greg?! To get the chance to perform in front of your family and friends...oh wait, man I really need to stop doing that. I don't mean to keep throwing that in your face Greg but it just comes naturally to me. How does it feel Greg? Being so close to home but yet so far away? Knowing that you can't sleep in your own bed, that you can't get a hug and kiss from your own wife, or even a good luck from your own son in which you reply: “Thanks Slugger!” How does that make you feel? I'm curious because if you ask me your situation seems like a blessing. Being away from all those responsibilities like parenting? Who the hell wants to deal with that noise? Why would you want to raise a child instead of party? Not to mention that with your recent actions you're clearly unfit to raise a child, Ashley would easily get possession during your divorce.

Instead of celebrating your new found freedom you continue to mope around with this “whoa is me” attitude instead of grasping the situation by the ass and fucking it hard! You've got no wife Greg! What's stopping you from screwing anything that moves except for your looks? I'm sure money isn't an issue if you want to pay for sex, or you know what, I have a better idea, maybe you can bet a hooker that she won't have sex with you that way it'll feel more comfortable for you haha. Wow this feeling is awesome...your misery...come to think of it, this must be what it feels like to have sex with me hahaha.

How long has it been Greg? No, no, no...not since you've seen or heard from your family. That other thing. That other thing that relates to...oh fuck it, since you were SCW Champion? How long has it been Greg? 2007 was it? Let's fire up the DeLorean and take a journey back to the year 2007 shall we? 2007, The Departed was chosen as best film, Rehab by Amy Winehouse won song of the year, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was released, the mitchell report was discovered, do you know what else happened in 2007? God, it just seems so long ago, but in June of 2007 marked the last time you tasted SCW World Championship gold. Heh, jesus Greg, what have you been doing all these years? Have you even been trying to get it back?

* Shawn smirks before spitting again into his cup and taking a drink of his beer to follow. *

Shawn – During that time span were you in some sort of coma or something? No that can't be it because for whatever reason I was told that you won Taking Hold of the Flame this past year. How did that work out for you Greg? Did you win the SCW Championship then? Nope, you sure didn't. Looking at me must really sicken you doesn't it? Bring you to the verge of just puking your guts out at the sight of me? You Greg Cherry, from 2007 until present has probably had hundreds of matches where as myself, Shawn Winters has merely wrestled 50 TOPS! Do you know what I've accomplished in that time period? Well in 2009 I was a two time SCW World Champion, wow who would have thought that? Me, Shawn Winters in less than a fourth of the matches that Greg Cherry has wrestled managed to win the Championship TWICE!! Did you get that Greg? TWICE!!! You had repeatedly squandered every damn opportunity that you had at the Championship in 2009. I leave after Rise to Greatness and come back now and you know what? NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!! God it makes me wonder what the hell I even bothered coming back for.

Greg it has been the same song and dance with you for going on four years now. Do you know what most people would do in your case? GIVE UP!!! But oh no, not you. You're Greg Cherry, you're the man living in the past, you're to proud to quit, you're to proud to give up...well that is unless it's Rise to Greatness 2010 haha.

Trust me Greg, I get it. I understand the fascination of living in the past. I could go on Ebay right now and buy an N64 and plug in GoldenEye and get lost. Then maybe after that's over I can put in some Super Smash Brothers! I CALL PIKACHU!!! Heh, it's all passed us by Greg, just like your career. Living in the past only means that you're scared to live in the present. You're scared to live in the present because you have done nothing with your life. You've been to busy reminiscing about old times that you've forgotten to live in the now. Sure, remembering times when things were good is all fun and relaxing, but a time comes Greg where you've got to grow up and you've got to focus on what's happening now. Is your son even going to know who that Greg Cherry was? Is he even going to recognize you with World Championship gold around your waist? Or is it just going to be a story that Ashley tells him of the great man that his father WAS?! It's a hard thing to come into contact with trust me. It's like going through detox. You've got to drain all of that suckiness out of your body in order to possibly one day begin a new life. However that new life has something standing in it's way and that's me. Nothing comes easy Greg, you've got to EARN a second chance. To be honest, if I was a betting man, I wouldn't put my money on you that's for sure. Because let's face it, you can't beat me. You've never been able to beat me and yet you continue to curse my name as if I'm in no way your superior. This isn't 2007 anymore Greg, it's 2011 and you're slowly fading out. In today's have no future here. You're like the ugly drunk chick that wont leave you alone at the bar so you can go have sex with the hot drunk chick. Heh, you're that insignificant.

Body, Heart, and Soul being in your home state I'd love to tell you to go home and dwell on what I've just told you but heh, there is a saying: “You can't go home again”. Well Greg, those words couldn't ring truer to your ears.

* Scene fades out. *